7. Spicy Original Chicken Sandwich $4.49

“Chicken patty. Mayo. Lettuce. But, this time, the chicken patty has spices on it. Is it actually spicy, though? Enjoy arguing about this trivial topic with your friends.”

She hemmed and hawed. “Are you like, a salesperson for Mr. Burger?”

“No. Mr. Burger is not real, and neither am I. I’m a figment of your imagination, and Mr. Burger is an advertising mascot someone else made. Now do you understand?”

“Yeah, but did Burger Burger, like, psychically implant a spooky serial killer in my brain to make me want to eat more spicy chicken sandwiches?”

He frowned tightly. “Are you fucking with me? Are you actually this dense, or are you just trying to piss me off?”

She shrugged. “I don’t want the spicy, anyway. I have heartburn.”