6. Puppuccino

“This is a fucking drink for dogs,” he explained. “Do you know what it is? It’s whipped cream. Can you handle that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” she stammered.

“Fucking seriously? It’s WHIPPED CREAM.”

“Did you know sometimes people huff the nitrous oxide in whipped cream cans to get high?” she rambled at breakneck speed.

“Wow. Really. I wonder how you learned that,” he said.

She winced. “And, and… what if this is secretly about those people who wear leather dog masks?!”

He threw his arms out with a flourish. “Great news! That’s exactly what this is! It’s a weird sex thing!”

“No. No way. I can’t be a… sex animal,” she said. “Um, no offense, Mr. Cat Sex Man Cat.”

“None taken,” he said, though his tone of voice made her think that he was definitely offended.