A balsam and cedar scented candle.

The Yankee Candle Company is an American manufacturer of scented Yankee Candles.

A Soft Blanket scented candle, whatever the hell that means.

Yankee Candles can be found in thousands of gift shops across the nation.

A Summer Storm scented candle.

A Yankee Candle is a portable fire that people can place in their homes. It provides light, warmth, and fragrance.

A Dreamy Summer Nights scented candle.

A Yankee Candle is very expensive. Humans have been known to fight over the ownership of Yankee Candles.

A Dream by the Fire scented candle.

Fire was discovered 2 million years ago and revolutionized humanity forever.

A Calm and Quiet Place scented candle. No, these names don’t make any sense.

If you purchase a Yankee Candle, it is more than a lifelong commitment. A Yankee Candle is never finished by its original owner, as it is passed down from generation to generation.

A Life’s a Breeze scented candle.

Keep a Yankee Candle in your car emergency kit. That way, instead of eating all of your emergency rations right away, you will only eat it when you truly need it.

A Loves Me, Loves Me Not scented candle.

Ever since the SARS pandemic, an astronomical number of negative reviews for Yankee Candles suddenly manifested. As SARS’ most known symptom is loss of smell, it is still unclear to this day if Yankee Candles genuinely decreased in quality, or if negative reviewers are literally sick in the head.

A pack of unscented tea light candles.

A Yankee Candle is a measurement of time.