The Yankee Candle Company is an American manufacturer of scented Yankee Candles.

Yankee Candles can be found in thousands of gift shops across the nation.

A Yankee Candle is a portable fire that people can place in their homes. It provides light, warmth, and fragrance.

A Yankee Candle is very expensive. Humans have been known to fight over the ownership of Yankee Candles.

Fire was discovered 2 million years ago and revolutionized humanity forever.

If you purchase a Yankee Candle, it is more than a lifelong commitment. A Yankee Candle is never finished by its original owner, as it is passed down from generation to generation.

Keep a Yankee Candle in your car emergency kit. That way, instead of eating all of your emergency rations right away, you will only eat it when you truly need it.

Ever since the SARS pandemic, an astronomical number of negative reviews for Yankee Candles suddenly manifested. As SARS’ most known symptom is loss of smell, it is still unclear to this day if Yankee Candles genuinely decreased in quality, or if negative reviewers are literally sick in the head.

A Yankee Candle is a measurement of time.